Past Thoughts

 I gonna tell you guys how the way I think before I know mindset is actually the key to anything that you literary think about.

I used to overthink and had a huge negative thoughts about anything. Like, things will gon' bad, failed the classes, I will disappoint my parents, I couldn't achieve anything I want, and many things that I used to put in my head.

It is bad because we attract what we fear. All of those things that I've been thinking, nearly going to happen. How do I know? cause I can feel it. I was so lazy to study, had fights every day with my mom, including losing my friends. I found myself laid on my bed crying, blaming myself, and nearly hate the way I am.

But if I see myself back then, all those things are my problem. Because all of that comes from my mind and makes everything around me change like I'd thought (well probably went too far like imagining it how and when it'll happen). Maybe... because I'm too creative.

Not gonna lie, all changed because I found someone that I could trust and find myself so comfortable to be me and my crazy thought. It changes because I don't want someone like him to love the bitter version of me. So I start reading self-improvement books, self-love books, and things that help me be the better, the best version of me.

I'm not telling you guys to find yourself a partner to lean your head, what I'm trying to say is find something that can make you move. start eating healthy, hit the gym, hang out with your friend, go climbing, or do anything that can make you guys think " I can do better than this". make yourself motivated, that's the key

How can I get motivated? the answer is "just do it". the action you take can motivate you. I was don't know how to feel motivated before, but I found how action can motivate me not I have to get motivated first then do the action after, is I read and practice it in my daily life from Mark Manson's book " The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck" (It's a great book also enjoyable).

So, I do my things, get motivated, be able to enjoy what I'm doing, and get it done. it's not sound easy. there's a lot of distraction going on in the process. I live with my parents, it feels like every movement I made, they gonna judge it at any second. Also, my neighborhood is so freaking damn noisy in the daytime. Those are my distraction, and I was could able to do anything because they have a life like I do so, I just mind my own business. I'd do it in the nighttime cause it's less distracting. feel great for the first time, until my sleep schedule was so messed up. The effect of it was I couldn't pay attention because I blanked out, feeling very weak in the daytime and that makes me passive in class, and gain weight.

So, I fight those distractions, cause I can't be a zombie in the day forever right? well, I start it with hyper-focus in myself, not letting anything drag me with it. Day by day I get used to it until I don't see those distractions anymore. It's just me and the things that I have to focus on.

Being grateful, showing gratitude, meditation, taking a deep breath before those negative thoughts pop in your mind, is just really a life-changer because those things turn into routines, then changed my lifestyle.

I still trying to make my lifestyle more healthy, happy, and better than before.

So if you guys are in the same situation as I am, let's do it together.

Have a nice weekend. No, I mean have an amazing weekend 💌